Relationship-Building Skills
Nurturing relationships with emotional intelligence grounded in trust, respect, mutual understanding, and a spirit of collaboration.
Micro-VCoL Exercises
Below are three exercises for developing relationship-building skills. Choose one to focus on for at least a week before trying another.
Exercise 1: The Connection Investment
Make small, consistent investments in workplace relationships rather than only engaging transactionally.
Practice in brief interactions throughout the day: arrivals, transitions, passing in hallways, at the start or end of meetings.
In brief interactions, pause to make genuine contact rather than just exchanging information. This might mean: making eye contact and being present for a moment, asking how someone is and actually listening.
What small investments in relationships did you make today? How did they feel? What prevents you from making these small investments more often?
Exercise 2: The Repair Initiation
Take initiative to address small ruptures in relationships rather than letting them fester.
Practice when you notice tension after a disagreement, when an interaction left something unresolved, or when you have contributed to friction.
When you notice a relational rupture, even small, take initiative to address it. This might be as simple as: "I noticed some tension earlier and want to check in."
Did you notice any relational ruptures today? Were you able to initiate repair? What makes repair difficult? What would support a culture of routine repair?
Exercise 3: The Remembering Practice
Strengthen relationships by remembering and following up on things that matter to others.
Practice when colleagues mention upcoming events, challenges, or things they care about. Note these mentally or briefly in writing. Then follow up.
When a colleague mentions something significant, make a mental note. In your next interaction, ask about it: "How did that presentation go?" This simple act shows that you listened and that they matter.
What did you remember and follow up on today? How did people respond? How might you build better systems for remembering what matters to others?