Integrity and Authenticity
A commitment and ability to act with sincerity, honesty, and integrity.
Micro-VCoL Exercises
Below are three exercises for developing integrity and authenticity. Choose one to focus on for at least a week before trying another.
Exercise 1: The Alignment Moment
Notice when there is a gap between what you are saying or doing and what you actually think or feel, and practice bringing these into closer alignment.
Practice in conversations where you might be tempted to agree when you have reservations, to exaggerate, to stay silent when you have concerns, or to present yourself differently than you are.
When you notice yourself about to say something that does not match what you genuinely think or feel, pause. Ask yourself: "What is the honest version of this?" Then adjust your words to be more accurate while still being kind and appropriate.
When did you notice a gap between your inner experience and your outer expression today? Were you able to narrow that gap? What held you back when you could not? How did it feel when you expressed yourself more authentically?
Exercise 2: The Commitment Check
Only commit to things you genuinely intend to follow through on, and be honest about your capacity and intentions.
Practice whenever someone asks you to do something, attend something, or take on a responsibility. Also practice when you are tempted to make promises to be agreeable.
When asked for a commitment, pause before answering. Check: "Do I actually intend to do this? Do I have the capacity?" If not, practice saying something honest like "I want to help but I cannot commit to that timeline" rather than saying yes automatically.
Did you catch yourself about to commit to something you would not follow through on? Were you able to give a more honest response? How did the other person respond? What does this tell you about how often you over-commit?
Exercise 3: The Congruence Check
Notice when your body language, tone, or energy does not match your words, and bring these into alignment.
Practice during conversations where you might be saying one thing while feeling another: giving difficult feedback, responding to requests you want to decline, expressing enthusiasm you do not feel.
During interactions, briefly check: "Does my body match my words? Does my tone match my message?" If you notice incongruence, either adjust your words to be more honest or let your body relax into your message.
When did you notice incongruence between your words and your body or tone? Were you able to bring them into alignment? What situations create the most incongruence for you?