Below are three exercises for developing communication skills. Choose one to focus on for at least a week before trying another.
Exercise 1: The Full Listen
Set the goal:
Practice giving someone your complete attention when they are speaking, without planning your response.
Seek opportunities:
Practice in one-on-one conversations and in meetings when others are speaking.
Apply:
When someone is speaking, set aside your inner commentary and response planning. Simply listen to understand. If you notice yourself formulating a response, gently return to listening.
Reflect:
How difficult was it to listen without planning your response? What did you notice that you might have missed otherwise? What pulls your attention away from listening?
Exercise 2: The Clean Expression
Set the goal:
Express your views clearly and directly while remaining open to other perspectives.
Seek opportunities:
Practice when you have a view to share, especially when you might normally hedge, over-qualify, or express opinions as questions.
Apply:
When you have a point to make, express it clearly without excessive hedging. Use "I" statements: "I think..." "My view is..." At the same time, leave room for others: "And I'm curious what others think."
Reflect:
Were you able to express your views clearly? Did you notice tendencies to hedge or qualify excessively? What makes direct expression difficult?
Exercise 3: The Understanding Check
Set the goal:
Before responding to others, check that you have actually understood what they meant, not just what they said.
Seek opportunities:
Practice in any conversation where understanding matters, particularly when discussing complex topics or when you disagree.
Apply:
Before responding, pause and check your understanding. Briefly summarise what you heard: "So what you're saying is..." Wait for confirmation. If you misunderstood, let them clarify.
Reflect:
When did you check understanding today? Did you discover any misunderstandings? How did the other person respond to being checked?